the craft. show don't tell.
The sight of that subject line is probably giving you anxiety. As writers, we’ve heard over and over again, “show, don’t tell.” But if you’re anything like me, at times, you may have wondered “What the hell does that even mean?” It’s not as convoluted as we think and there are certainly ways in editing that we can improve this element of our writing. One thing I’ve learned for sure is there is so much magic in the editing process. Don’t be discouraged if your first draft is telling, you can always go in and fix it up.
So this week, I wanted to share a few things that may help you with this concept in your writing. At the root of it, “show, don’t tell” is essentially being able to keep your reader immersed in the story. It becomes more of a sensory experience for them instead of being told about people or concepts in some faraway land. When we tell instead of show, we are reminding the reader of the third party in between them and the story, you.
The first thing that helped me identify when I was telling instead of showing was when I used words like, “I feel,” “I see,” “I heard.” These immediately identify moments when I am telling and not showing. For example.
“I heard a loud knock at the door.”
Vs.
“The thunderous knock at the door almost made me jump out of my skin.”
In the second example, we are in it as the reader, hearing the knock for ourselves vs. being told about the knock.
The other part of showing, not telling involves its relationship to exposition. Sometimes we literally say what is happening instead of allowing our reader to make their own deduction based on the language. For example.
“Gloria hated Mondays.”
Vs.
“Gloria took her seat at the conference table absolutely still reeling from the weekend. She was trying to pay attention, but her insides churned. Two days away from this place were simply not enough.”
In this example, we don’t have to implicitly say she hated Mondays, instead, we can allow the reader to deduce that Mondays may not be Gloria’s thing.
This doesn’t solely apply to fiction or screenwriting either. We can utilize this idea in all styles of writing. It takes studying the language. It takes thinking about concepts or situations beyond what first comes to mind. It’s the moments when we develop those lines that make you wonder why you ever thought of anything but writing. When instead of saying, “she was a girl with broken dreams,” we say, “she sat on the sidewalk staring at the reflection of her tear-stained face, knowing that New York had made a liar out of her.” Or when we hear H.E.R. sing “If I have to choose my heart or you, I’m gonna lose.” It takes studying poetry. Whew, no one says it better than a poet, right?
There are so many benefits when we master this concept or when we can identify it when editing. In fiction, it helps characters become dynamic, more 3D. It helps to keep the reader in the moment. It gives us a more seamless transition between narrative, action, and dialogue. It gives our work depth. And the key here is not to overdo it. Every part of a story doesn’t need super flowery language or extreme detail. Knowing when to dive into those elements of writing should accentuate the story, not overpower it.
The reality here is that most often when we think of “showing and not telling” we overthink it. I mean which come, on, that’s all we really do as writers is overthink. Haha! BUT, if we can simply get our ideas out first, then go back and refine, it becomes a little easier to find those moments when we could “show it better than we told it.”
Writing/Job Opportunities
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Anjie Zheng is always looking for freelancers at WeWork. Those who write abt real estate/work-life/small business but also ghostwriters and product writers. anjie.zheng@wework.com
Justin Michael Jerome is looking for pitches from journalists of color. Reporting only. Entertainment profiles & features, Sports, Criminal justice/prison reform, COVID, Health & fitness justin@cbsnews.com.
NPR is hiring a publicist. Yes, this person would work on the TinyDesk series. (DC-based)
Black Ballard UK is accepting pitches on beauty, work and career, and love, and relationships.
21 Ninety is looking for a Growth Content Marketer.
Vulture is looking for a Senior TV Editor.
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