the craft. writing what you know.

I love love stories. I may not seem like a sap on the outside. But I am, often, totally a sap on my couch watching some of the cheesiest love stories of all time. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched the first three seasons of The Game because of my love for Melanie and Derwin. So for some people in my life, it may seem surprising that my first novel is a romance, but at the same time, it’s what I know.

Music, family, and love stories. Recently in a workshop with writer, author and director Felicia Pride, she talked about knowing your themes when it comes to screenwriting. Where some writers get afraid of putting themselves in boxes, I call it being honest about what actually appeals to you and what you can write well. In my opinion, I think I can write about love extremely well because I’ve watched and read so many love stories. I think I write about the intricacies of the music business well because I’ve worked in it for over ten years. And family, well, been watching those dynamics all my life.

Write what you know. I know that can immediately sound stifling, but I think there is a case that can be made for why this age old advice still rings true. Writing what you know can take you a lot of different places and still leaves room for imagination and creativity. But it also ensures a certain level of authenticity, necessary to resonate with audiences.

This by no means makes it so that you can’t write fantasy or write about places you’ve never been. I mean, isn’t that what’s so great about creativity? But I think there is something to be said for the things we know most intimately. While I looked up and researched certain things about New York City for my debut, I was able to incorporate elements of the music industry that are relevant wherever you are. Like everything, it’s a dance and most works of writers will be some personal experience, some make believe, and a lot of other stuff in between.

This also doesn’t mean I can't write a white woman protagonist because I’m not one. But I think writing what I know would probably be a composite of white women I have come across in my lifetime. It’s about finding the universal elements in our stories to be able to have them connect to others. In writing what we know, it’s always finding those through lines whether it’s in fiction or nonfiction. In my latest work in progress, I’m writing about two male friends/business associates and it’s so fun. One, to pull from some of my own masculine energy, if that makes sense? And two, also to pull from different men I’ve known in my life.

That same main character from my work in progress is also dealing with real grief and sadness and I find myself being able to relate whole heartedly. Although his pain manifests in addiction and that is not my story, I find myself tapping into the depths of the pain I’ve felt with grief over the years. I’m able to put myself in my character’s shoes and reflect on his outlook through my own lens. Again, it’s finding those relatable pieces to make up something completely new.

I think when we say “write what you know,” it’s not so much talking about only writing about your experiences. Nikki Giovanni has a quote that says, “Writers don't write from experience, although many are hesitant to admit that they don't. ...If you wrote from experience, you'd get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.”

It is playing into our empathy. Our ability to put ourselves in the position of someone else. To embody our characters or subject. To align some of our personal truths with those of others. It’s why Marvel stories still appeal to us on a human level. “I love you 3000?” Come on, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, right? No matter if we’re talking about magic suits, or green people in a far away land, great storytelling is appealing to our universal truths. We get it right when those truths are anchored in real places from within us.