the craft. the ups and downs of reviews.

“Don’t listen to your ego when you’re up. Don’t listen to your ego when you’re down.”

I’m pretty sure it was Pharrell who said this in an interview. But my husband and I have wholly adopted this concept. The reality is, most of us these days are dopamine addicts. We post the photo, we get likes and all of those triggers in our mind start ringing like bells making us feel great. Then we chase it. Chase the feeling of feeling affirmed by others losing sight of what it means to be affirmed in knowing we gave our very best.

In writing, there will be critics. I don’t even want to talk about the comments sections of some of our favorite publications. And most often being a person of color and a woman, it gets rough. But it’s important to remember whether it’s a faceless profile on a website or a respected literature reviewer that all art is subjective. Yes, writing is our art.

Publishing is full of random emails after you turn in that final manuscript and go to production. Especially living on the West Coast, I literally wake up every morning to a slew of emails because the East Coast day is already under way. Some of the emails are opportunities I cannot believe I’m receiving. And others are weirdly lukewarm receptions to the book.

The other day, I got an email about a review from Publisher’s Weekly. And it was both complementary and kind of not. It was shared with me because there was still a good quote they could pull from it for promotion. I didn’t even want to click it. But, I had to approve what they wanted to pull to use. While they praised my ability to bring readers into the world of creating music, the latter part of the review was a bit of a punch. I guess they didn’t like the ending or something. In either case, I know better than to let this stuff get me down, but I couldn’t shake it that day for some reason.

Eventually, I went to my husband and said, “what am I supposed to do when I feel like this again?” That’s when he reminded me of the aforementioned quote. So much initial feedback was so positive about the book that I think I was flying a little too high. That review put a little pin in my balloon. Not that I was feeling myself too much. But I just felt good and hopeful. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But as long as you are depending on outside sources to tell you what is good about your art, you will always be at their whim experiencing extreme highs and lows. I don’t know about you, but I’m not here for that.

All the same, on June 9th, I had the opportunity to chat with Bree Hill in a collaboration with Simon Books and Meet BLK about Good Morning, Love. And she was pulling quotes from the book and talking about the characters like they were real people. She gave me so much great energy and it was a reminder of who I’m actually writing for. Many of my favorite writers are not the most “critically” acclaimed. They are the writers whose work speaks to me. Who made me think that maybe I could write stories one day too. Who had characters that reminded me of my aunties and my cousins. Who gave me new perspectives on the world around me.

Reviews are for readers. Not for you. Readers can make their own judgments about whether they want to read your work or not. But an opinion is just that. It’s not a fact. So much about this community is about reminding yourself that you can write. So if you know that. If you know you have the ability to put together words and paragraphs. Then everything else is up to personal preference. Does someone like the way you do that work? Meanwhile, it’s most important that you like the way you do your work.

When I think about the book I turned in when I first signed my contract and the book that’s coming out in a week and a day, it’s lightyears ahead. I can’t imagine how much better of a writer I will be with my next effort.

There’s nothing I want more in my life right now than the ability to write more. To write more books. To have more time to write scripts. And so sometimes it feels like my whole world is dependent on this book. My whole future. But this is only a debut. It’s one book. And God willing there will be many others. I try to remind myself every day that I did this incredible thing that not many people get to do. What an honor. What a privilege. I refuse to lose sight of that.

You are not the best writer you will be. Keep going. Keep growing. Keep writing. And remember what Eric Smith told us, Don’t Read the Comments!

Writing/Job Opportunities

Rebecca Strassberg is looking for a strong editor to join her for June/July. Branded lifestyle content at Hearst (travel, tech, pets, entertainment, etc.) Send resume/portfolio link to rebecca.strassberg@hearst.com. Rate: $400/day. relevant editing experience necessary.

If you're an experienced freelance tech journalist who can report tech service stories at the intersection of lifestyle topics, from explainers to examining viral trends, please send clips to janie.campbell@huffpost.com. $350-$400 per article.

Roxane Gay Books is accepting submissions starting June 15.

Ursa Stories is accepting submissions. Deadline July 15.

Teen Vogue is hiring a Social Media Manager.

Associated Press is hiring a Program Manager, Inclusive Journalism.

The Washington Post is hiring an Assignment Editor, Social.

Popular Science is hiring a Tech News Writer.

Bomb Magazine is hiring an online Film and Theater Editor.

Well+Good is hiring a Commerce Writer.