the craft. more on networking.

I know that I’ve talked a bit about networking before, but the plot thickens. Networking is often a great mystery. I think especially when it comes to those of us who really love books and words. Let’s face it, being social isn’t always the most natural. But what I’ve pondered on recently is this idea that relationships that really matter can often take a lifetime to make.

I’ve developed so many great relationships with other writers that started in the blogging era. For me, that was 2013 when I decided to actually take my blog seriously. I’d been writing before that, 2013 was when I found my stride. And there were other amazing writers who were finding their way at the same time.

When we talk about networking across, that’s what it was. This idea of getting in on the ground level. Once people are already established, it’s difficult to get them to buy into whatever it is you want them to help you with. Oftentimes, the relationship is one sided. You need something from them, but what can you actually contribute to what they’re doing? When you network across, even if someone is a little above or below you (in career terms, not in personal value) there’s a lot more ways you can help one another.

I absolutely had a full-circle moment this week thinking about Abigail Glen who is the owner of Shelves Bookstore. Many years ago now, maybe about 2015 was around when I started hosting creative writing workshops. Abigail attended one of my first workshops in Philadelphia and we had a great connection then. As an avid reader, she was one of the first people I thought of when I needed beta readers for this novel that I was trying to write. She read it, and gave me great feedback, of course. And on June 22nd, Abby will be co-hosting my virtual launch event for Good Morning, Love along with three other indie bookstores. That is a relationship that was seven years in the making.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a young songwriter, hoping to write something that would top the Billboard charts, I thought I could just meet the right person and my life would change. But honestly, those relationships came with so much chasing. Emailing and never hearing back. Folks telling me to call them, but they never picked up the phone. What good is a relationship if you can’t actually utilize it? At some point, I got so tired of looking at my phone and feeling like there weren’t people I could actually call. That was a shift in how I felt about building relationships.

If it ain’t organic, I don’t want it. I’m interested in relationships that can be advantageous to my career, but I’m more interested in people who actually believe in the work I’m doing and vice versa. I have no interest in making things fit. Or trying too hard when it comes to networking events. As an outgoing person, I’ve had my heart broken too many times in trying to just let people know that I was a fan of their work. I’ll never forget going to Atlanta for Blogalicious one year and being met with some of the funkiest attitudes from some of the bloggers I thought I admired. I’m not holding grudges either because now, I realize, they weren’t my people. I had no sweat equity with them and so they didn’t owe me anything. I mean kindness is free, but you know what I’m saying.

One thing I have noticed about a lot of people, especially younger people in creative fields, is that they want to rush everything. And there is a real sense of entitlement that I don’t understand. Being a bit older and wiser now, I truly understand a couple things about networking. It is truly an art. It’s more about building genuinely with people than anything else. It’s about finding common ground. Having mutual interests. And it takes time. No way around it. I’m not saying it’s impossible to create a connection with someone in the 15 minutes you meet them at a panel or event. But it has not been my experience that those types of interactions are fruitful.

In marketing, they say it takes a consumer at least seven touchpoints before they buy a product. And well, I would say something similar to networking. Yes, you should be intentional, follow up, and branch out. But, just know that, it may take years for certain opportunities to come of it. I always encourage you to be as genuine and as curious as possible. Those things have led me to some amazing relationships that I had no idea would serve me in the way they do.

The reason I think it’s important to incorporate these types of anecdotes around craft is because talent is literally 10% of it when it comes to most creative fields. The other 90% is discipline, consistency, relationships, and a little bit of luck or God’s favor, whatever you’re into. It can be dangerous to lean too much into where solely your talent will take you. So I just always want to encourage you that while you’re writing those masterpieces, make sure you also lift your head up every now and again to make connections.

Writing/Job Opportunities

Variety is hiring interns. Position opens July 18 and runs for 6 months. College juniors, seniors and those who graduated in the past 12 months. Please apply to shali.dore@variety.com with a cover letter, resume and three published clips (can be school newspaper).

POLITICO is looking for a talented, experienced writer to help helm The Nightly, one of POLITICO’s best-read newsletters, and report impactful stories for POLITICO magazine, from narrative features and investigations to ideas-driven essays and quick-turn perspective on the news.

Paramount is hiring a Script Coordinator for a forthcoming Nickelodeon series. (LA based).

The Philadelphia Inquirer is hiring a Senior Health Reporter.

The New York Times is seeking an experienced reporter and writer to join a team of reporters in covering the U.S. Midwest.

Rolling Stone is hiring an Internet Culture Reporter.

The LA Times is hiring an Assistant Editor and Writer, Food Guides.

Rest of the World feature reporting fellowship is open for submissions. (June 30)

Jezebel is hiring a Deputy Editor.