the craft. memory.

I’ve been thinking a lot about memory while crafting a new story I’m working on. It’s a delicate balance to go between the present moment in the story and the past. This project for me starts with an origin story. Jumping quickly into the present day but also teetering between the main character’s present moment and the things that landed him in his current state. I realized that it was going to be important for me to include more about those moments. I was going to have to figure out how to weave between these times distinctly and with ease for the reader which has been one of my biggest challenges in writing so far.

Sometimes flashbacks are done badly. Let’s just call it what it is. We can easily get lost in time if it’s not done well and so even now, I’m hella nervous that when I actually share this story with my agent she might be like, “this is all over the place.” HA! But we shall see. Maybe it’s just the right amount of artsy and risky in approach.

Recently, I came across this discussion with Deesha Philyaw and Dawnie Walton where they talked, in a different way, about memory in writing. I noticed that in addition to my thoughts on how to create moments of recollection for my character, that there is a great amount of memory that comes into play as a writer when trying to develop a story.

While Philyaw and Walton referenced an amazing quote from Toni Morrison’s essay/interview “The Site of Memory” from The Source of Self-Regard. There was another piece that stuck out to me in her essay, “Memory, Creation and Fiction.”

“Memory (the deliberate act of remembering) is a form of willed creation. It is not an effort to find out the way it really was - that is research. The point is to dwell on the way it appeared and why it appeared in that particular way.”

The idea for my current story was sparked after watching a documentary where I truly thought about this idea of fame as a spirit or energy that can corrupt. The internal battle that an artist may fight when trying to stay true to their artistry but also battling the intensity of fame. This duality of being yourself and also this persona.

Recalling all those initial thoughts, how something made you feel in the moment, is hard work. I’m not even sure the doc is easily accessible to rewatch. But telling the story has been creating a composite of what I know to be true and what I’ve decided to fill in based on the gaps in understanding of this actual person’s internal struggle.

I love that in this essay, Morrison goes on to say this about Hannah Peace a woman she vaguely remembers but that served as inspiration for her story Sula:

“What is useful—definitive—is the galaxy of emotion that accompanied the woman as I pursued my memory of her; not the woman herself.”

I don’t even want to find the documentary now. I’m leaning now on my memory of the feeling that it gave me. The conflict this person exuded in who they wanted to be and who they were. Their quest to resolve in their mind that their pursuit of this type of creative work was okay. That when you have a gift, it will often come with fame in varying forms. I was thinking of only having these vague pieces to try to put something together, but the reality is, I have everything I need. The great thing about fiction is being able to build characters and worlds around parts of what we know to be true. We don’t need the whole truth in order to do our work. In fact, as she alludes to in the essay, we’re better off with just those parts or else the work is already done for us.

What I’ve enjoyed in writing this story is how far from me the main character is. But being able to mine my own memories of grief, melancholy, and deep regret to flush him out fully. Memory serves us greatly as fiction writers. Our stories will always be through our lens, slightly altered and embellished, interpretations of events. Filling in the gaps of the pieces of people, moments, emotions how we remember them.

Writing/Job Opportunities

Jenna Rosenstein is looking for some fresh beauty features and beauty voices on http://BAZAAR.com. Pitches for essays and reported features should feel buzzy and new. Please include links to your previous work. jrosenstein@hearst.com.

Emory College is seeking a Creative Writing Fellow in Poetry. Two-year fellowship in ATL. (Deadline: Nov. 11)

Yale is hiring a Catalog/Metadata Librarian

Netflix is hiring a Social Film Manager

Pay Writers LLC, Blog is accepting pitches for their publication amplifying the voices of working writers.

Billy Penn is hiring a Food and Drink Reporter.

InJustice Watch is hiring an Editorial Director.

Bloomberg Opinion is hiring a Social Media Editor.